jaffincomp1revisionsheet

 (what you wrote) || Revision (how it changed after feedback) || Explanation/Rule (catchy way to remember next time) || - date as “1942” -“ideal dream of a wedding” -“Grace visited me a few times” -“though” || -“June 6, 1942” -described it in more detail
 * Comp 1 – Writer’s Revision Sheet **
 * Original
 * Genre 1 (diary) –

-described what she did when Grace visited her -unnecessary word-took it out || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-Detailed Date <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-D-D-D-D-Describe! || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-different questions inside then on front <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-(WC) had “her and Arthur Miller’s first child” <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-had information cited as “Los Angeles police” <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-had no period at the end of a bulleted sentence <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-had a typo <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-had two pictures || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-made questions the same
 * <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Genre 2 (pamphlet) –

<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-changed it to “the child she had conceived with Arthur Miller” <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-changed it to “Los Angeles police, 1962” <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-added the period

<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-took out the typo <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-added one more picture on the inside ||  || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-no revisions || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-n/a ||  || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-didn’t list how/why she died <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-put when she was born but not where <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-didn’t name her half-sister as a surviving relative || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-listed that she died “due to an apparent overdose” <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-added name of hospital where she was born <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-put that she will be remembered by her half-sister, Berniece Miracle, as well as Joe DiMaggio ||  || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-no revisions || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-n/a ||  || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";"> Genre 7 (persuasive <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";"> essay) – <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";"> -no revisions -n/a
 * <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Genre 3 (business card) –
 * <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Genre 4 (obituary)–
 * <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Genre 5 (letter)–
 * <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Genre 6 (PowerPoint timeline) –-no revisions || <span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">-n/a ||  ||